How do we know what we ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ญ๐บย want?ย
Since I was a child, I have been fascinated with living overseas.
When the opportunity for an assignment in Indonesia came up in 2013, I grabbed it!
The excitement of my first overseas posting was soon met with a sense of reality.
Reality struck as I transitioned from a single contributor to a team manager.
When I found myself leading a team of 13 young talents in a completely different environment and culture overnight.
Expectations were high.
To succeed in my role, I knew I had to earn the trust and tap into the potential of my new team, fast.
In my first month, I had 1:1 coaching session with each member of my team. My intention was to understand their aspirations. So that I could support them towards achieving their goals.
In these sessions, I asked each member what they wanted for themselves, 2 years from now.
None of them was able to tell me what ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ wanted.ย ๐
They explained it was the first time their views were sought on what ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บย wanted.
Up till then, they trusted the organization in deciding what was best for them.
We spent the next 6 months uncovering each memberโs strengths and interests in work.
We continued our 1:1 monthly coaching session as a forum for a 2-way open communication.
By the end of our 4 years together, they became one of the best teams I ever had in my career.
Fast forward to last week, I found myself pondering over the same question. This time with clients and other coaches.ย โณ
From our explorations, I realized in our personal and professional lives, โ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ตโ was mostly decided by our parents and bosses (eg re-org).
They decided what was ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ถ๐ด through their lenses with the best intentions.
We ended up running after or running away from what others wanted ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ถ๐ด. ๐โโ๏ธ
Over time, we lost sight of what we ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ญ๐บ want.
How do we know what we ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ญ๐บ want for ourselves?
To help us understand what truly matters, we can start by asking ourselves:
โถ What is it that makes me want it?
โถ What sacrifices would I make for it?
โถ What would having it mean to me?
โถ What would not having it tell me about myself?
There is no right or wrong.
Your answers will reveal what you want from what you ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ญ๐บ want.
When you know what truly matters and why, you gain clarity over your options.
It becomes the lighthouse to help you navigate through the sea of choices, wants and distractions ahead of you.
โฉ PS: Do you know what you ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ญ๐บ want? Share in comment.
