by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Mindset, Programs
I enjoy making new connections during webinars.
Last week, I met June, a Singaporean who migrated to Australia, in a webinar breakout session.
Her new life in Perth has been nothing short of an adventure.
At age 56, she lived to tell the tales of her 2 ‘impossible’ from her bucket list – bungee jumping and skydiving!
As someone petrified of heights, her courage intrigued me.
Just as how her stories surprised me.
June recalled how she spent weeks preparing for the bungee jump – researching, preparing, and rehearsing her jump mentally.
As the date drew nearer, her thoughts of backing out got louder.
“I kept having visions the rope might snap … and what if I got myself killed in the process? I questioned, do I REALLY want to do this at 56?”.
On D-day, she froze on the platform.
It took her more than an hour to finally leap.
By contrast, she was glowing when detailing her skydiving experience.
“Wasn’t skydiving a lot scarier?” I questioned.
“No, I enjoyed it more! My instructor had done hundreds of jumps.
I felt safe with him”, she explained.
Here’s what struck me:
⏩ When she trusted the process, June turned doubts into thrills.
From doubting..
‘do I REALLY want this’ → savoring her experience
whether her ropes might snap → trusting her instructor
whether she would hurt herself → assurance of having a guide
I resonated with June’s stories.
I had my ‘standing on a bungee platform’ moments each time I changed roles in my career.
I felt the same when I transitioned from my corporate career into coaching – the “What ifs.”
What if I fail?
What if this is a mistake?
What if I have to return to corporate looking silly?
After several ‘career bungee jumps’, I began to recognize these doubts are just part of our human response.
They are not real.
If you’re going through a transition and feeling unsure,
instead of doubting yourself → 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁𝘀.
Recognize them as protective instincts, not your limits.
Talk to someone who’s taken a similar leap and give yourself a chance for a new perspective.
Ready to cross out your bucket list?
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Events, Mindset
Do you know …
Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan was inspired by the final words of Gary Gilmore, a convicted murderer who was executed in Utah in 1977.
Dan Wieden, co-founder of the advertising firm that created the slogan,
was inspired by Gilmore’s final words,
“You know, let’s do it”. And the rest is history.
But is it REALLY simply – Just Do It?
When I started posting on LinkedIn last Nov, I felt miserable.
Every post was a 3 to 5 hour struggle.
My pain wasn’t just about content creation.
It was the conflict between wanting to introduce myself as a new coach and the pull back of doing it an introvert.
This friction led to inconsistent effort and procrastination.
Did you also have these moments?
When you hesitated…
When you couldn’t simply – Just Do It.
So what stopped you?
What did you want?
How did you feel?
Often times, we get stuck by the frustration of what we want and how we feel about ourselves.
Understanding this deep lying conflict will empower you to take the right actions – FOR YOU.
𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 – 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗗𝗼 𝗜𝘁.
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Events, Mindset
After more than 100 coaching conversations, I came to realise we are our biggest barriers.
We are often our harshest critics, putting ourselves down before anybody else.
When I asked my coachees,
“What’s really standing in your way and the results you want?”
I often hear, “I CAN’T … because [reasons]’.
– A high potential manager avoided promotion because “I CAN’T lead”
– A team leader shunned tough conversations because “I CAN’T manage”
– A mid-career executive rejected an overseas role because ” I CAN’T adapt”
It is not their lack of knowledge or ability.
It is their BELIEF that they can’t.
This is why I am passionate about supporting others to own their ‘I CAN’.
‘I CAN’ is the mindset of truly believing in our ability to learn, adapt and grow.
It is a process that requires a critical mindset shift –
to get your harshest critic to start trusting.
That’s YOU.
This requires beyond shouting “I CAN’ in front of your bathroom mirror.
Your transformation from ‘I CAN’T’ to ‘I CAN’ requires you to
⏩ 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 – the desire to own what you said you wanted, badly.
⏩ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 – the commitment to face the discomfort of growth.
⏩ 𝗧𝗿𝘆 – the courage to put words into action.
This is not just fancy Growth Mindset theory.
📌 It is THE mindset that turned me from a ‘no hope student’ to having a fulfilling career and now as a Coach.
And I’ve seen how an ‘I CAN’ mindset changed the results for my clients in their business and life.
The reason I am sharing this is because …
𝗩𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀,
If starting today,
your response to every challenge is ‘I CAN’ instead of ‘I CAN’T’.
– How would you feel?
– What would you achieve?
– What career and life opportunities do you see now?
This is not toxic positivity or blind optimism.
It is trusting yourself to create the results you want.
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Psychologist Thomas Curran explained perfectionism is not the quest of perfecting a task.
It is an act of covering up the ‘perceived imperfection’ in ourselves.
I have never regarded myself as a perfectionist.
It came as a surprise when perfectionism emerged as my chief saboteur when I took a self-assessment test developed by Positive Intelligence (PQ, link in comments) recently.
As I reflect on my results, I can see truth in it.
My fixation on getting things 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩.
My tendency to self-judge when I fail to meet 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨.
My habit of pushing myself even harder for 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣.
This haunting feeling of ‘𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝’ has continued to weigh down on my shoulders subconsciously.
I should know.
The perfectionist in me took up to 5 hours to draft 1 LinkedIn post when I started posting this February.
I wasted considerable time over-thinking and over-tinkering.
I undermined my self-confidence, mistaken fulfilment lies in perfection.
𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘄𝗲𝗱.
The first step to harness perfectionism is to acknowledge its existence in us.
The desire to be better has given me the strength to strive.
It has empowered me to overcome the ‘impossible’ in my life.
It fuels my motivation towards lifelong learning and personal growth.
Recognizing my perfectionist traits has allowed me to be self-compassionate.
Instead of being frustrated with myself, I learned to understand the origins of my habits. This has given me the confidence to be less than perfect.
We can achieve more and find joy when we choose to put down our baggage. 🌟
We can find peace when we recognize no one is judging us other than ourselves. 🌟
⏩ PS: Would you put down your baggage?
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Most of us recognize the transformative power of having a growth mindset.
Does having a growth mindset stop us from going down the slippery slope of a fixed mindset again?😬
Last Thursday, I had an interesting conversation with an ex-classmate over dinner.
When I updated Wendy about my current work as a growth mindset coach, she went, “𝘢𝘩! 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘦𝘵”.
“𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.” 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥.
Everyone experiences doubts and anxiety.
But we can learn to manage them better.
Here’s what I learned.
5 lessons you may consider to shift towards a growth mindset.
✨ 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝟭 𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗺 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗽.
Make progressive changes.
Every small change = many small wins!
This rewards your brain to work harder to adopt new habits over time (neuroplasticity).
✨ 𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱.
Your mindset influences your life.
Start by tracking 3 tasks that you accomplished each day and see your confidence grows.
✨𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻:
As my mum taught me, 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 = ̶‘I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶’t̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶’.̶
Your aptitude for learning is your ONLY KEY to becoming your best self.
✨ 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁:
Everyone makes mistakes!
There is no failure from trying new things and learning. Ask ‘𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘛𝘏𝘌 1 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦?’ They are meant to show you the way forward.
✨𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝙔𝙤𝙪!
YOU must first learn to trust 𝘺𝘰𝘶, before others can trust 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 100%.
Recognize times when 𝘺𝘰𝘶 showed up and take responsibility.
Be THE source to inspire others’ trust in you.
Our mindset exists on a spectrum instead of a binary trait. 🌟
In her book ‘Mindset’, Dr Carol Dweck PhD explained that we will experience both fixed and growth mindset tendencies in different situations. 👁️🗨️
This is how your brain is hardwired to keep you safe from unfamiliar situations or perceived risks.
Through self-awareness and consistent effort, you can shift from a fixed mindset towards a more predominant growth mindset over time.
While you can’t change your mindset completely, you can make the shift. 🚀
⏩PS: How did you shift your mindset? Share your success!
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Last November was the mid-term of my 6 months Professional Coaching Certification program.
It was a special milestone that I looked forward to. A timely opportunity to measure my development and competency as a coach.
The 2-day mid-term workshop was packed with practice drills. I started the workshop feeling confident.
As the drills progressed, my confidence started to dip. I was called out for gaps in my listening and questioning techniques.
The foundational skills of a coach.
By the end of 2 days, it became clear I was not as competent as I had 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 of myself. I began to see I was not as good as I 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙.
To realise I was 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 struck me hard. Very hard.
A voice in my head questioned ‘𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴? I had let myself down.
My mind space was completely clouded in doubts the following week.
I couldn’t coach. Neither did I want to.
That Friday, I presented my issue as a ‘𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵’ during a team practice session.
A peer coach asked ‘𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 (𝘮𝘺) 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴?’
It came across as a redundant question.
‘𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥’, I answered as a matter of fact.
Somehow, her question stayed in my mind that night.
Now, ‘𝙒𝙃𝙊’ sets those expectations, I pondered.
I finally understood 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 by the next morning.
In that instance, everything made sense!
It became clear my parents’ expectations of me as a child had stayed with me. It has shaped my self-expectations to this day.
This new clarity showed me where my self-judgement came from.
It gave me control to change my narrative.
That I don’t have to prove my worth to anyone.
Not least, to 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 in my head.
This realisation changed my perspective about my self-doubts. I became less afraid and learned to appreciate that they exist for a reason. 🔆
In my case, it was protecting me from the stress I experienced as a child from not meeting others’ expectations.
I shifted from being deflated to gaining control of my negative self-narratives. 🚀
Fast forward 4 months.
It was pleasing when a master coach commented last week that I had improved by leaps since the mid-term workshop.
𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀
Self-doubting is normal. Everyone experienced it at some point.
It doesn’t mean you are weak.
Recognise this voice is 𝗡𝗢𝗧 you. ❎
When 𝗬𝗢𝗨 detach from it, you gain the power of control.
Our narratives give colour to our lives. 🌈
When you understand yourself better, you start to give your best self to the people around you. 🙌
PS: What 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 can you attach to your doubts? ⬇
