by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Mindset, Programs
I enjoy making new connections during webinars.
Last week, I met June, a Singaporean who migrated to Australia, in a webinar breakout session.
Her new life in Perth has been nothing short of an adventure.
At age 56, she lived to tell the tales of her 2 โimpossibleโ from her bucket list – bungee jumping and skydiving!
As someone petrified of heights, her courage intrigued me.
Just as how her stories surprised me.
June recalled how she spent weeks preparing for theย bungee jump – researching, preparing, and rehearsing her jump mentally.
As the date drew nearer, her thoughts of backing out got louder.
โI kept having visions the rope might snap โฆ and what if I got myself killed in the process? I questioned, do I REALLY want to do this at 56?โ.
On D-day, she froze on the platform.
It took her more than an hour to finally leap.
By contrast, she was glowing when detailing her skydiving experience.
โWasnโt skydiving a lot scarier?โ I questioned.
โNo, I enjoyed it more! My instructor had done hundreds of jumps.
I felt safe with himโ, she explained.
Hereโs what struck me:
โฉ When she trusted the process, June turned doubts into thrills.
From doubting..
โdo I REALLY want thisโ โ savoring her experience
whether her ropes might snap โ trusting her instructor
whether she would hurt herself โย assurance of having a guide
I resonated with June’s stories.
I had my โstanding on a bungee platformโ moments each time I changed roles in myย career.
I felt the same when I transitioned from my corporate career into coaching โ the โWhat ifs.โ
What if I fail?
What if this is a mistake?
What if I have to return to corporate looking silly?
After several โcareer bungee jumpsโ, I began to recognize these doubts are just part of our human response.
They are not real.
If youโre going through a transition andย feeling unsure,
instead of doubting yourself โ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ฏ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ฏ๐๐.
Recognize them as protective instincts, not your limits.
Talk to someone whoโs taken a similar leap and give yourself a chance for a new perspective.
Ready to cross out your bucket list?
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Events, Mindset
Do you know โฆ
Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan was inspired by the final words of Gary Gilmore, a convicted murderer who was executed in Utah in 1977.
Dan Wieden, co-founder of theย advertising firm that created the slogan,
was inspired by Gilmore’s final words,
“You know, let’s do it”.ย And the rest is history.
But is it REALLY simply โ Just Do It?
When I started posting on LinkedIn last Nov, I felt miserable.
Every post was a 3 to 5 hour struggle.
My pain wasnโt just about content creation.
It was the conflict between wanting to introduce myself as a new coach and the pull back of doing it an introvert.
This friction led to inconsistent effort and procrastination.
Did you also have these moments?
When you hesitated…
When you couldnโt simply โ Just Do It.
So what stopped you?
What did you want?
How did you feel?
Often times, we get stuck by the frustration of what we want and how we feel about ourselves.
Understanding this deep lying conflict will empower you to take the right actions – FOR YOU.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ – ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐.
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Dec 18, 2024 | Events, Mindset
After more than 100 coaching conversations, I came to realise we are our biggest barriers.
We are often our harshest critics, putting ourselves down before anybody else.
When I asked my coachees,
โWhatโs really standing in your way and the results you want?โ
I often hear, โI CAN’T โฆ because [reasons]โ.
– A high potential manager avoided promotion because “I CAN’T lead”
– A team leader shunned tough conversations because “I CAN’T manage”
– A mid-career executive rejected an overseas role because ” I CAN’T adapt”
It is not their lack of knowledge or ability.
It is their BELIEF that they canโt.
This is why I am passionate about supporting others to own their โI CANโ.
โI CANโ is the mindset of truly believing in our ability to learn, adapt and grow.
It is a process that requires a critical mindset shift โ
to get your harshest critic to start trusting.
Thatโs YOU.
This requires beyond shouting โI CANโ in front of your bathroom mirror.
Your transformation from โI CANโTโ to โI CANโ requires you to
โฉ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ป๐ โ the desire to own what you said you wanted, badly.
โฉ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป โ the commitment to face the discomfort of growth.
โฉ ๐ง๐ฟ๐ โ the courage to put words into action.
This is not just fancy Growth Mindset theory.
๐ It is THE mindset that turned me from a โno hope studentโ to having a fulfilling career and now as a Coach.
And Iโve seen how an โI CANโ mindset changed the results for my clients in their business and life.
The reason I am sharing this is because โฆ
๐ฉ๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐,
If starting today,
your response to every challenge is ‘I CAN’ instead of ‘I CAN’T’.
– How would you feel?
– What would you achieve?
– What career and life opportunities do you see now?
This is not toxic positivity or blind optimism.
It is trusting yourself to create the results you want.
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Psychologist Thomas Curran explained perfectionism is not the quest of perfecting a task.
It is an act of covering up the โperceived imperfectionโ in ourselves.
I have never regarded myself as a perfectionist.
It came as a surprise when perfectionism emerged as my chief saboteur when I took a self-assessment test developed by Positive Intelligence (PQ, link in comments) recently.
As I reflect on my results, I can see truth in it.
My fixation on getting things ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฉ.
My tendency to self-judge when I fail to meet ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ.
My habit of pushing myself even harder for ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ๐จ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ค๐ฌ๐ฃ.
This haunting feeling of โ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ช๐๐โ has continued to weigh down on my shoulders subconsciously.
I should know.
The perfectionist in me took up to 5 hours to draft 1 LinkedIn post when I started posting this February.
I wasted considerable time over-thinking and over-tinkering.
I undermined my self-confidence, mistaken fulfilment lies in perfection.
๐๐ฒ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ณ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ.
The first step to harness perfectionism is to acknowledge its existence in us.
The desire to be better has given me the strength to strive.
It has empowered me to overcome the ‘impossible’ in my life.
It fuels my motivation towards lifelong learning and personal growth.
Recognizing my perfectionist traits has allowed me to be self-compassionate.
Instead of being frustrated with myself, I learned to understand the origins of my habits. This has given me the confidence to be less than perfect.
We can achieve more and find joy when we choose to put down our baggage. ๐
We can find peace when we recognize no one is judging us other than ourselves.ย ๐
โฉ PS: Would you put down your baggage?
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Most of us recognize the transformative power of having a growth mindset.
Does having a growth mindset stop us from going down the slippery slope of a fixed mindset again?๐ฌ
Last Thursday, I had an interesting conversation with an ex-classmate over dinner.
When I updated Wendy about my current work as a growth mindset coach, she went, โ๐ข๐ฉ! ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด๐ฆ๐ตโ.
โ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ’๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฃ๐ต๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ค๐ณ๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ.โ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ.
Everyone experiences doubts and anxiety.
But we can learn to manage them better.
Here’s what I learned.
5 lessons you may consider to shift towards a growth mindset.
โจ ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ถ๐ป ๐ญ ๐พ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐๐๐บ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฝ.
Make progressive changes.
Every small change = many small wins!
This rewards your brain to work harder to adopt new habits over time (neuroplasticity).
โจ ๐๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ป’๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ, ๐ป๐ผ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ.
Your mindset influences your life.
Start by tracking 3 tasks that you accomplished each day and see your confidence grows.
โจ๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป:
As my mum taught me, ๐ฆ๐ง๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ = ฬถโIฬถ ฬถdฬถoฬถnฬถโtฬถ ฬถkฬถnฬถoฬถwฬถโ.ฬถ
Your aptitude for learning is your ONLY KEY to becoming your best self.
โจ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐บ๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ป๐:
Everyone makes mistakes!
There is no failure from trying new things and learning. Ask ‘๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐๐๐ 1 ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ?’ They are meant to show you the way forward.
โจ๐ง๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ช!
YOU must first learn to trust ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ, before others can trust ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ. 100%.
Recognize times when ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ showed up and take responsibility.
Be THE source to inspire others’ trust in you.
Our mindset exists on a spectrum instead of a binary trait. ๐
In her book โMindsetโ, Dr Carol Dweck PhD explained that we will experience both fixed and growth mindset tendencies in different situations. ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ
This is how your brain is hardwired to keep you safe from unfamiliar situations or perceived risks.
Through self-awareness and consistent effort, you can shift from a fixed mindset towards a more predominant growth mindset over time.
While you can’t change your mindset completely, you can make the shift. ๐
โฉPS: How did you shift your mindset? Share your success!
by mohammadalamin584@gmail.com | Aug 3, 2024 | Mindset, Resources
Last November was the mid-term of my 6 months Professional Coaching Certification program.
It was a special milestone that I looked forward to. A timely opportunity to measure my development and competency as a coach.
The 2-day mid-term workshop was packed with practice drills.ย I started the workshop feeling confident.
As the drills progressed, my confidence started to dip. I was called out for gaps in my listening and questioning techniques.
The foundational skills of a coach.
By the end of 2 days, it became clear I was not as competent as I had ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ of myself. I began to see I was not as good as I ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐.
To realise I was ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ช๐๐ struck me hard. Very hard.
A voice in my head questioned โ๐๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ, ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด? I had let myself down.
My mind space was completely clouded in doubts the following week.
I couldnโt coach. Neither did I want to.
That Friday, I presented my issue as a โ๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ตโ during a team practice session.
A peer coach asked โ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ (๐ฎ๐บ) ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด?โ
It came across as a redundant question.
โ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅโ, I answered as a matter of fact.
Somehow, her question stayed in my mind that night.
Now, โ๐๐๐โ sets those expectations, I pondered.
I finally understood ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ช๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃย by the next morning.
In that instance, everything made sense!
It became clear my parentsโ expectations of me as a child had stayed with me. It has shaped my self-expectations to this day.
This new clarity showed me where my self-judgement came from.
It gave me control to change my narrative.
That I donโt have to prove my worth to anyone.
Not least, to ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ซ๐ค๐๐๐ย in my head.
This realisation changed my perspective about my self-doubts. I became less afraid and learned to appreciate that they exist for a reason. ๐
In my case, it was protecting me from the stress I experienced as a child from not meeting othersโ expectations.
I shifted from being deflated to gaining control of my negative self-narratives. ๐
Fast forward 4 months.
It was pleasing when a master coach commented last week that I had improved by leaps since the mid-term workshop.
๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ง๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐๐
Self-doubting is normal. Everyone experienced it at some point.
It doesnโt mean you are weak.
Recognise this voice is ๐ก๐ข๐ง you.ย โ
When ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ detach from it, you gain the power of control.
Our narratives give colour to our lives. ๐
When you understand yourself better, you start to give your best self to the people around you. ๐
PS: What ๐ข๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐ can you attach to your doubts? โฌ
